A lot of companies advertise on the Cable News Network but I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the captive audiences in airports. CNN itself advertises on Fox News and, now, in The New York Post, another Murdoch outlet.

On Monday, December 7 CNN paid for four outside right half-page vertical ads in a row – pages 21,23,25,27 – in the Post. Each ad has a one word headline.

The star of the first ad is an unsmiling Christiane Amanpour, looking a lot like Mick Jagger. Her word is TRUTH.

Page 23 features an unsmiling Anderson Cooper, Gloria Vanderbilt’s kid, with a deer in the headlights expression. His word is NEWS.

The third ad shows an unsmiling guy who’s probably one of those intrepid field reporters and he looks like he has a bad case of GIRD. I have no idea who he is but his word is FACTS. Other than the one word headlines, the only other elements on each of the first three ads are CNN’s logo and their slogan.

The final ad shows a big bold number 1 along with the word FIRST and a list of all the things at which CNN is #1. “23 million TV/Web Integrators”, for example. No explanation of what a TV/Web Integrator might be. Way down at the bottom are 10 lines of unreadable reverse mice type, presumably backup for all the first claims.

To summarize, CNN bought four half pages to convey this message: TRUTH NEWS FACTS FIRST.

The old courtroom swearing in question comes to mind:“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?” CNN might tell the truth sometimes but rarely the whole truth and almost always with something added to the truth: progressive opinion, nonsense, a smirk.

Last time I looked, Fox News was kicking the crap out of CNN in prime time with more viewers than CNN and MSNBC combined.